This or That
by Spring Zephyr
Summary: Nathaniel explores his feelings for Marc, Luka is also there. Gift fic for Fragile Memories.


**Fragile Memories wanted a Marc/Nathaniel/Luka fic, and this happened? Luka did not want to get shipped. I did my best to keep everyone in-character.**

" **Crimson Cloud" is not the name of a real band, at least so far as I'm aware, but it's the name of V's battle theme from DMC5 and he looks like someone who could be in a band that Luka would listen to...**

The inside of Luka's locker was plastered with artists, mostly musicians. Boys in tight pants and ripped leggings, girls wearing plaid miniskirts and more mascara than lisptick, and androgynous beauties that adhere to no particular style. It would be all too easy to assume there's nothing in particular motivating his choices, aside from them all being people Luka admires. Which is true, those _are_ people he admires, and by admires, well –

"Jagged Stone's style isn't bad, but the fans are really in it for his music. Younger fans don't find him particularly attractive," Luka rambled, transferring a stack of textbooks from his locker to his shoulder bag. "Unlike the lead singer of Crimson Cloud, who's still smoking despite being almost thirty."

"And that inspires you?" Nathaniel asked weakly, the inside of his mouth suddenly going dry. It was worth noting, the lead singer of Crimson Cloud was also male. Though Nathaniel supposed he could've meant it objectively, like Luka thought he was hot in a purely observational manner.

"Totally. If that man invited me to dinner, I would have a hard time saying no."

Or not.

Nathaniel choked out an "that's so weird!" before he could control himself. It wasn't really that weird, just… he'd had a lot of confusing feelings lately.

"Okay, yeah, like I said, the guy's basically thirty. It _is_ gross and I would definitely say no if he _did_ ask, but there's, like, nothing wrong with thinking about it, you know?"

"This is really what inspires you?" Nathaniel asked, trying desperately to change the conversation. It was lucky that Julekka's brother took everything in stride. Lucky Luka knew that he hadn't meant to insult, unlike Marc, who could be so over-sensitive sometimes. "Like, pictures of people you think are," he chewed on his lower lip, and finished with a slight squeak, "hot?"

For the record, Nathaniel was well aware that being unable to say the word "hot" at age fifteen was not helping his social status any.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" Luka asked, in that big brotherly way that meant he would totally stop talking about it and not be offended or upset.

"I've been asking myself that a lot lately," Nathaniel admitted, hardly muttering the words.

He had a sneaking suspicion that Luka's sister, Julekka, was dating Rose, and that didn't bother him in the slightest. And if Luka was gay – or bisexual, more likely? – that put every "one in ten" statistic he'd ever heard in jeopardy.  
Somebody slammed their locker door shut at the exact moment he'd spoken. It caught him off guard when Luka replied, in a much quieter voice, "We can go back to talking about my musical inspirations, if you'd like. I could recommend some bands that might help end your artistic block..."

Nathaniel peaked through the curtain of his bangs, clutching his own books a little tighter to his chest. "When did you realize you liked..."

He paused, fumbling for the words: boys, girls… both?

"Everyone?" Luka added helpfully, laughing. "Pretty much as soon as I noticed everyone can be attractive."

"I think I like Marc," Nathaniel continued, using his teeth to rip a peel of dry skin from his bottom lip. It stung. He brushed his tongue over the spot and immediately tasted blood. "And I think... maybe Marc likes me… I just, I don't know for sure on either account, and I don't want to risk upsetting Marc again like I did with Reverser, and – "

"Calm down. What happened with Reverser?"

The cautionary bell rang, and Nathaniel's heart nearly jumped out of his chest – it replaced the tension with another kind of tension, because he'd already been promised detention by Ms. Mendeleiv if he was late for another class this week. He spent enough time in detention as it was, just because he preferred drawing comics to taking notes.

"I'll tell you later!" he promised, and ran all the way to class, in spite of the heavy heart that weighed him down.

He spent more of class chewing on his eraser than he did taking notes _or_ drawing. It was like the more Nathaniel tried not to think about it, the harder it became.

There was no confusion about why he liked Ladybug, or why he'd liked Marinette, so why was there with Marc? Because there were people who'd think it was unnatural? Because he wasn't sure if Marc had liked him first, or if he was just imagining things?

He couldn't be as easygoing as Luka – if he was, then he'd have a crush on Chloe too. And sure she was pretty, but Nathaniel would never be attracted to her personality.

So maybe Marc's personality was the deciding factor. He was kind of like Marinette, since they were both shy and clumsy, and, now that Nathaniel had gotten to know Marc a little better, very kind people. Nathaniel wondered if that was where the similarities ended, or if he was only confused because Marc was _sort of_ like Marinette.

Which wouldn't be fair to Marc, Nathaniel realized, as his pencil went into motion for the first time that morning, because whether the two of them liked each other or not Marc deserved better than being a replacement for someone else.

He decided to talk to Luka again during lunch, which meant having to tell Marc they wouldn't be eating together at their usual table today and trying not to wince at the dejected look Marc gave him in return. As he slid into the chair across from Luka, who was surprisingly alone and playing air guitar instead of eating, the food on his plate looked even blander than usual.

Maybe if Nathaniel explained the situation with Reverser to Luka fast enough, he could apologize to Marc and bounce ideas for their Ladybug comic for the last few minutes of lunch period – so he spoke as quickly as possible, with Luka nodding along until the very end.

"It sounds like you already rejected him once," Luka mused.

"I… I guess so."

"And you're afraid you'll get rejected this time?"

"Um, I guess it'd be pretty bad for our collabs if something like that happened."

"Let's start from the top," Luka offered. "Do you think Marc is attractive?"

"I don't think he's ugly," Nathaniel replied cautiously, thinking once again of Chloe.

"Would you kiss him?" Nathaniel must've pulled a face at that one, because Luka chuckled and continued, "Let's try something easier. How about holding hands?"

Nathaniel's eyes wandered to his plate as he thought it over. He'd never thought about Marc's hands before, but he imagined they'd have at least one callous from holding his pencil all the time, like his own. Would they be soft? Marc seemed like the kind of person who lotioned, but it wasn't like Nathaniel had ever asked.

Plus he wore gloves all the time. And he was always nervous. Marc's palms would probably be sweaty if anything.

"I guess so," Nathaniel decided eventually. If they were ever in a situation where he had to hold Marc's hand, like if they were visiting the Louvre and Marc was afraid of getting lost or something, he'd definitely do it.

"What if Marc asked you first?" Luka tried.

Considering everything he knew about Marc, Nathaniel could not forsee a situation where that would ever happen. He pointedly told Luka as much.

"Then what if I asked you?" Luka joked.

Or at least, he was probably joking, but the way Nathaniel almost died on a mouthful of green beans was for real. "You can't just say things like – "

The look in Luka's eyes was strangely serious. His fingers strummed the air guitar with slow, deliberate movements, and his gaze locked onto Nathaniel's.

"Nathaniel, I love you. You're the brightest color in my life when all I see is blue – "

"Stop, stop!" Nathaniel pleaded, hands clamped over his ears with embarrassment. He hunched his shoulders and shut his eyes, like he was trying to hide from Luka – like if he couldn't see Luka anymore, his upperclassmen would cease to exist.

"I agree," Luka mumbled. "The lyrics do need some work. 'Marc, I love you' – "

"...Stop."

"There's nothing wrong with loving more than one person," Luka pointed out.

"If I had even a fraction of your confidence," Nathaniel sighed, deigning not to finish that sentence.

"Listen."

Luka leaned forward, and for a fraction of a second Nathaniel worried he was about to compose him another impromptu love song. That feeling was quickly replaced by an even worse one:

"If you had even a fraction of my confidence, you would've already given the cutie that's standing behind you and obviously has a thing for you a chance."

Nathaniel didn't turn around to look at Marc's unwitting face. He's an artist, so he can already imagine it – Marc's face is paler than normal and his glossy lips are slightly parted, the way they always are when he's in shock. His perfectly manicured hands are suspended in mid-air, frozen in claw-like shapes, because he's uncertain what to do with them.

The red-head of the bunch is honestly not looking much different right now.

"And if Nathaniel or myself asked you on a date, love, would you say 'yes'?"

Marc swallowed thickly, loud enough that Nathaniel thought even some people from the other side of the cafeteria could've heard it. The red-head finally removed his hands from his head and turned around, slowly, to look at him, knowing there's no way Marc could say the words even if they both wanted him to –

So the dark-haired teen nodded instead.

 **Joke's on you, I can't even write shipping fics. |D**


End file.
